Aussie computer terminology

This should give you a giggle.  If you don’t understand any of the terms, ask an Aussie (if you can’t find one, leave a comment).  Thanks to Jaclyn for passing this on to me, it really helps me understand why I get some strange looks sometimes when I go a bit geek at work!

Rural Australian Computer Terms  – A bit of Aussie culcha

* Log on – Make the Barbie hotter

* Log off – Don’t add any more wood to the Barbie

* Monitor – Keep an-eye on that Barbie

* Download – Getting the firewood off the Ute

* Hard Drive – Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

* Key board – Where you hang the Ute keys.A New Technique, Wooden Lowering

* Floppy disc – What you get from trying to carry too much firewood

* Window – What to shut when it’s cold outside

* Screen – What to shut in the mosquito season

* Byte – What the mozzies do

* Bit – What the mozzies did

* Mega Byte – What the Townsville mozzies do

* Chip – A bar snack

* Micro Chip – What’s left in the bag after you eat the chips

* Modem – What you did to the paddocks

* Dot Matrix – Old Dan Matrix’s wife

* Laptop – Where the cat sleeps

* Software – The plastic knives and forks they give you at the Red Rooster

* Hardware – The real stainless steel cutlery

* Mouse – What eats the grain in the shed

* Mainframe – What holds the shed up

* Web – What a spider makes

* Web site – Usually in the shed or under the verandah

* Search Engine – What you do when the ute won’t go

* Cursor – What you say when the Ute won’t go

* Yahoo – What you say when the Ute does go

* Upgrade – Steep hill

* Server – The person at the hotel who brings the counter lunch

* Mail Server – The bloke at the hotel who brings the counter lunch

* Sound Card – The one that wins the hand of 500

* User – The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff

* Network – What you do when you have to repair your fishing net

* Internet – Where you want the fish to go

* Netscape – What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net

* Online – When you get the laundry hung out on the washing line

* Off line – When the clothes pegs let go and the washing falls on the ground

Ute picture courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/silencer_rh/2079399137/



  1. I’m about to go to Vietnam, hoping they don’t do Gigabytes there!

  2. You get strange looks at work because they just don’t understand us GEEKS. You know, I spent my entire youth trying to be anything other than a GEEK. Now I am the president of a nationwide network of GEEKS, drive around with it plastered all over my car, my clothes, and everywhere else I can put it.

    People ask me all the time if I am embarrassed when people call me a GEEK. I reply to them, “For $80 to $130 per hour, you can call me just about anything you want!”

    Stay strong fellow GEEK, and keep it coming with the computer humor.

  3. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



  4. I think that these terms are pretty funny. How come you use different terminology in Australia then we do here in Canada ?

    – Alysa

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